


Chloe's Birthday Wish

by Sarah1281



Category: Smallville
Genre: Episode Related, Humor, old fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-18 06:16:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4695200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarah1281/pseuds/Sarah1281
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Hex, instead of just looking at Lois longingly, Chloe verbalizes her wish to Zatanna, who is at a loss as to why Chloe would want to be Lois. Her attempts to get to the bottom of it lead Chloe to realize maybe she doesn't want to be Lois after all...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chloe's Birthday Wish

**Author's Note:**

> I do not believe this story to be a bashing one but it does portray Chloe's desire to be Lois as being absurd.

"Make a wish," Zatanna whispered.

Chloe glanced over to where her cousin was getting ready to leave for Mexico. "I wish I were more like Lois…"

Zatanna blinked. That wasn't what she expected at all. "You wish to be a muffin-peddling dropout?" she asked incredulously.

"What?" Chloe shook her head. "No, of course not, what I want is to-"

"Ah," Zatanna knew that couldn't be it. Now to guess again. "Do you wish to be a recovering alcoholic?"

"No, of course not," Chloe said impatiently. "I want-"

"You wish to discover you never actually graduated?" Zatanna tried.

"No, but at the rate the past keeps changing, that could very well happen so please, keep that quiet," Chloe implored.

"Do you wish to be kicked out of college?" Zatanna suggested.

Chloe just stared at her. "Why would I want that?"

"Do you wish to have severe father issues?" Zatanna tried, having plenty of experience with father issues herself.

"That might not be a bad idea, actually," Chloe mused. "Then maybe I would be motivated to find out where my father is. Or if he's even still alive. Oh my God. I didn't invite my own father to my wedding!" she realized, horrified. "Ah, well, it's probably for the best; my marriage is crumbling anyway."

"Do you wish to be incapable of talking to someone for more than five minutes without offending them?" Zatanna was running out of things she thought Chloe could possibly want to be.

"Uh, no," Chloe said shortly.

"Do you wish to be have an inferiority complex to Lana Lang?" Zatanna inquired.

Chloe laughed. "Been there, done that, made and marketed the T-Shirt with Lex. Oh, and that one about Farm Boys and Unrequited Love. I miss him…" she admitted wistfully. "He may be suddenly evil and all, but he was the only other intelligent person I knew after Lionel died and Martha ran away to Washington and Sanity."

"Do you wish to date every third man you meet?" Zatanna knew some people liked excitement like that.

"Surprisingly, no," Chloe decided.

"Do you wish to be incapable of spelling your own name on a bad day?" the magician was getting desperate.

"No. Just...no," Chloe said finally.

Zatanna heaved a frustrated sigh. If she clearly wasn't understanding the purpose of the blonde's wish, perhaps she could clarify instead of making her play twenty questions? "Do you wish to be inspired to be a reporter after spending years claiming it would never happen because of an alien cold?"

Chloe's jaw dropped. "THAT'S what inspired her? Oh dear God..."

"Do you wish to sleep your way to employment and, eventually, a Pulitzer?" Zatanna asked tiredly.

Chloe snorted. "No. I have something called 'journalistic integrity' even though that clearly means I will never go anywhere, ever," she said, a little bitterly.

Zatanna gave up. "Then what do you wish?"

"I want my job back," Chloe said immediately. "And since Jimmy turned out to be, against all odds, a complete and total scumbag who proposed to me with a plastic ring, turned me over to 'federal custody', got mad at me for a love letter I wrote as a sophomore in high school, and gets jealous every time I talk to any other guys, I really want to be on the verge of a relationship with Clark!"

Zatanna cocked her head quizzically. "I do not understand. Didn't you have all of that before?"

"I did," Chloe agreed through gritted teeth.

"What happened?" Zatanna asked curiously, not sure if she really wanted to know.

"Lex fired me for the high crime of talking to Lionel Luthor," Chloe complained.

"You wouldn't believe how often that happens," Zatanna told her sympathetically.

"So is there any way you can help me?" Chloe asked eagerly.

Zatanna patted her shoulder consolingly. "Don't worry, dear. Since no one from any point in the future has ever heard of you, if you survive you're going to get the hell out of Kansas."

Chloe brightened. "Sweet! Eat that, life-stealing-cousin!"


End file.
